Volunteerorism

One hour to go in my first shift as a volunteer for The Nature Conservancy. I think I am going to make it through this thing. So far in the past three hours I have answered the phone seven times, received three parcels, and watched the wind move leaves across a gravel parking lot outside the window. Totally birching.

Last night I told Melissa that I am a fool for volunteering to do anything that did not pertain to the imminent arrival of our baby. Now I am not so sure. This is okay. This is worth it. This is boring as hell.

When I first walked in the door two weeks ago to apply as a volunteer, I figured front desk duty might be on the task list. I had, and still do have, a much keener interest in doing actual nature conservation work, whatever that entails. Dressing like a newt and sneaking around marshlands to assay rodent leavings, or jumping out of clean energy airplanes to rescue endangered raptors mid-flight. I really have no idea how these things work. I just want to help out a little, since I love nature and spend a lot of time out in it and from time to time dig a hole and leave a trace of myself behind. There is virtually no way to literally "leave no trace" unless you just don't go there in the first place. Like me today. Anyway, the point is that we have got to take care of the places we love, it is just that simple.

Having sat here on my ass thus far, I can safely conclude that I don't want to volunteer to do much more than sit here on my ass. If they want my mad skills out in the big old world, they can pay for it. I do have enough of my own work to do out there, unpaid, uninsured, at times un-legal I'll bet. How big of a pile of debris can one leave in one's backyard before it represents a public nuisance, by the way? Should I instead make several smaller piles of debris around my property? Perhaps there is a "white trash" clause which I can skate through by chucking a couple old tires and some baby shoes up on the roof. Then maybe I will strip down a 1986 Dodge Diplomat and leave it on blocks in the front yard. I know I am getting off topic - not very nature conservationistical of me. My mind wanders these days. There is a lot on it.

Concession as an afterthought.

I regretfully neglected to post any follow up information on the presidential bid by the Dog and Bird. They are both out. The dog has been photograped in a compromising situation invloving several rabbits, and the bird is desperately addicted to cheese. Not necessarily a bad thing until you take into consideration the fact that if cheese is made visible to the bird, he will stare at it and shriek until it is given to him. Alternative and/or future positions in government and political service are not currently under consideration. Vote Obama.