Open letter to "Anonymous L"

Nice of you to identify yourself. I thought that was you.

This is a special post in response to your comments; enjoy! This is the only time your words or thoughts will infect my blog with your special blend of ignorance and hate. This blog is intended to be a happy place detailing the events of my life that I feel are worth telling - not a place for inflammatory remarks that have no basis in reality.

Here then is your last comment, as it was posted on our birth story;

"M- Actually I know both of you well and it's pretty sad to see this blog, and the new one as well. So many people can't conceive and not only does Damien bitch about the people who arguably saved his daughter's life... but he leaves his 10 day old baby and his wife to go hiking all day?! You are both clueless. And I don't call myself your friend anymore because you have both changed for the worse. It's a good thing you moved. And if people aren't allowed to voice their opinions, then maybe you should disable the option to post comments if you can't handle someone calling you out on your bs. -L- "

Okay anonymous L, my first reaction to your comment is; you suck. You really don't know us at all. I am afraid your self absorbed life of delusion prevented you from ever truly knowing us. Now you are just being pointlessly rude - no surprise there, but for once you should try thinking about someone other than yourself. You do have a right to your opinions, but in this case you are flat out wrong. The opinions of other people (myself included) are worth entertaining if their foundations are well reasoned, but yours are mired in nonsense. Do not dare suggest that my life or my choices are BS - part of the reason we moved was to distance ourselves from the BS that you surround yourself with. You never once made an effort to see the other side of the story, to tear down that thick wall of shit, so why should we again go out of our way to make amends? It's always about you.

For six months we were two of those people who could not conceive. Six months is not long, but it was a difficult time for us. This is an extremely personal issue. Some dear friends of ours will never be able to do it - we don't know that sorrow, but we had our taste of wondering if it would ever happen for us.

To say I am bitching about the medical staff... wow. That just tells me you did not read the message in the blog. Try again, maybe you'll get it. Was it the shower cap comment that threw you off? Was it the part where I called the staff "brilliant professionals"? Maybe comparing the anesthesiologist to Wolfgang Gullich was lost on you. Coming from a climber, that is a great compliment. The dude was rock solid. I said we were not happy to be at TMC - that much is true. I was illustrating the several hours of stress and uncertainty that we had to deal with. The people who moved us through this time were amazing. I have eternal gratitude towards them; the TMC staff, the midwives, our doulla. All of them. I could have bitched about a couple of the nurses we had to deal with during the three days of post-partum recovery, but that was irrelevant, because we had our beautiful little girl. Nothing was going to upset us at that point. The delivery was an adventure, a thing that happens when your plans fall apart. When have you ever heard me bitch about adventure? Adaptability is a life lesson we live by. The reed bends, the rod breaks.

Speaking of adventure, when you try to call me out on my choice to go for a hike, you miss the mark by a mile. First off, I was not gone all day. I was gone from 6am to 4pm. Ten hours. Considerably less than a typical day out. Second, do you suggest that I lay down my long standing lifestyle, cease doing the things that feed my spirit because we have a baby? What difference does it make if she is ten days or ten years old? I will always have a heart for hiking, climbing, paddling, etc., and Melissa knows this. It is part of what makes me the man she loves. To ignore this call would be to snuff out a part of my soul. I took a risk, yes, but it was a well informed risk and as per SOP, Melissa knew where I would be (so did my friends) and she was not alone, she was with my mother. To suggest that I eliminate such risks is absurd. To hide in your house because you think it is safer will ultimately serve only to foster an unrealistic judgment of the things you do not know and bolster your irrational fears. I had a fear of heights once. Now it is a very healthy respect. I know my limits, and by testing my skills I have overcome the irrational fears and learned to handle the rational fears with much more respect. This is what we stand to gain from accepting certain risks in our life, and I can tell you it is an amazing reward. Besides that, your sheltered life is not without risks of its own.

I am all for free speech and keeping the dialog open. I will not censor commentary from anyone, but I will move hateful commentary to a more appropriate thread. Game on.